woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just high enough for therapy.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
