u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
