So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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