ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
