Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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