You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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