just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
