he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I had to cum in my sink.
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