I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
