Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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