Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
