Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
