i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
