it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
