sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
