that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
