"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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