guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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