i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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