I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We're too hungover to prance.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
