I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
