Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
