The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
