its not stalking. its research.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
