come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
