I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
