So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
