he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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