Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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