Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
