Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
