I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
