yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
