hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
