no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
