im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
