get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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