the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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