one two three fourrrrnication!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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