We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
