so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
