Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
