you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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