I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
