Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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