Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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