Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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