i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
