he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
