so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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